The significance of learning and sharing that pet's story!

When you meet someone new what helps you feel you are getting to know that person?
A name is helpful, sharing one's age allows for better insight but what about when the 'new person' shares more with you?
When you find out a bit of someone's story doesn't it make you feel you truly know that person... When someone tells you where he is from, how he came to live in this city, what his occupation is, whether or not he's single, married, divorced, with or without kids, what he enjoys doing and so on- these details allow you and your 'new friend' to discover what you have in common (we all have some things in common). These details also permit you to feel empathy for your new friend and to share on an emotional level oppose to a passive, disengaged one.
I'm here to tell you- the same goes with meeting a homeless pet.
As a longtime shelter worker and volunteer I knew pretty much from day one that the pet's story could be crucial to helping it find a home.
When potential adopters see or hear: name, age, weight, and that's it for a particular pet it can be easy for them to stay disengaged, to feel that they don't truly know that pet... to just walk on by.
Wanting to rescue a pet, take it in, make it part of your life, when you don't feel like you really know that pet, can be challenging for the average person.
However when potential adopters see something like: Charlie is a 10 month old lab mix that will do anything for you to throw that tennis ball! This fun-loving, affectionate character adores the company of other dogs and people, heck he even likes cats (but we can't guarantee you they'll like him)! Unfortunately Charlie's prior owner surrendered him to the shelter because she was moving and apparently couldn't find an apartment that would accept her pet. Charlie needs an owner that knows pets are not disposable. He needs to find a home quickly since the shelter cannot keep dogs for long periods. Do you have 10 minutes now? -Great, then go fetch a volunteer to get Charlie out for you so he can get a much-needed pee break and show off those amazing tennis-ball-catching-skills! 
This is just an example. What I'm getting at is this: if you're in animal rescue, if you're seeking out adopters for homeless pets, you've got to learn as much as possible about your pets' stories and then you've got to share them- always. Share them in writing on pet adoption sites, on the backs of kennel cards, share them on social media, share them in person, just share those stories however and whenever possible. Remember, every pet has a story.
Now I'll share with you a message I received yesterday via facebook messenger from a former adopter that shared with me how significant knowing her adopted pet's story was for her when she was on the fence about adopting:

Hi Jessica!

My name is Beatriz and a few years ago, I adopted Mia from Animal Services at the Marlins adoption event in September 2012.
I think that you were the one that told me her story... how she was picked up off the street, then adopted, then returned... and was walking with her when she had her little "Adopt me" vest on that day.

I always meant to e-mail you following that day, because I can't tell you how much my life has changed since then.
She is the most loving, affectionate, loyal girl I've ever met and incredibly smart as well. She even manages to open my bedroom door and cuddle in my bed when I'm gone. She loves to tan, run, and play with other dogs.

She used to be so scared at first, especially of men, but little by little it started going away, as she met my dad, my boyfriend, and other guy friends that she learned to trust.
She also had a little bit of a peeing problem when I left the house, but that also started going away when she realized I always came back.

I just wanted to thank you, for telling me her story that day, and for being there with her. I wasn't even certain on adopting that day, but ever since I took her home, I can't imagine my days without her.

Here are some pictures of her, in case you'd like to see! And I hope that it was you!

-Beatriz

photo Beatriz sent me

Photo of Mia and I the day of the Adoption Event, we were both soooo happy she was going home!

Country and Dudley

As Adoption Counselor at MDAS I would walk kennel runs daily. With pen and scrap paper in hand (never new, always scrap) I'd enter via D, meander in and out through F, G, H and so on. Small to medium sized dogs were and are kept in D and J (like book shelf ends for F, G, H and I), toy-breeds and small dogs are kept in F,G,H and I. Cats are kept in rooms L and M. Larger dogs are kept in the N runs, which is a long row of kennels along the back shelter wall, the backs of these kennels open up to outside, allowing fresh air to swoosh through the shelter 24 hours a day, which is typically a great thing being that it's Miami and all. On the opposite side of the shelter near dog-receiving there are dozens more large dogs, in the west wing (WW). On any normal day there are more than 100 dogs in the west wing alone; clearly big dogs make up the bulk of the shelter dog population at Miami Dade, as is the case with any open-intake shelter.
Now that you've got the layout down, and it's alright even if you don't have it down, back to what I was saying about walking the runs daily...
I'd walk through, quickly assessing and meeting each dog on the adoption floor. Looking first at the dogs, petting some as time would allow, and reading their kennel cards while moving along. I'd glance over kennel cards for key information: arrival date, due out date, intake status (owner surrendered or stray) and sex to know if the dog was yet spayed or neutered- this was the crucial bit of info I'd gather from the cards. The color, age and breed stated on the cards weren't of initial importance to me since those were often the guess of whomever was working in dog intake and... some were better at 'guessing' than others. Color, age and breed were details I could always change as needed then print a new kennel card.
So, I'd make my little list of 5-10 dogs that: 1.) had been at the shelter the longest (more than a couple weeks) 2.) had nice personalities with no signs of aggression 3.) were ideally already spayed/neutered then... I'd get to work trying to save some lives.
Writing all this out makes me recall my first week working at MDAS as the 'Lead Adoption Counselor.'
You see, I was the first adoption counselor MDAS technically ever had. The position had been created and funded via an ASPCA grant. Ordinarily Animal Care Specialists (kennel workers) and volunteers would act as the adoption counselors at the shelter. They still did a great deal of adoption counseling even after I was hired; with an average of 500-800 adoptions per month you need many people assisting adopters along the way!
Anyhow, since this was a newly-created position when I started at MDAS there was some degree of confusion about exactly what I'd be doing as 'Adoption Counselor.' Sure, there was a page and a half job description saying things like, "Will assist adopters with interacting with pets," "Will take part in planning and orchestrating offsite adoption events," etc. but there was still a lot of grey area in regards to what I'd do day in and day out at the shelter. There aren't always adopters in the adoption area after all. So on my first day, after hanging out in the back (adoption area), petting some pets, laughing and sharing affection with them, and there still was no one to 'help adopt' I went to my then-manager, Mr. Leiva, and asked "If no adopters are in the back is it o.k. if I take a couple of dogs out to socialize? -That way I can get to know them better and I'll be better equipped to match them with the right adopters whenever they come in."
"Sure," he said, "that'd be fine, just don't be away from the adoption floor for long periods at a time."
"Great!" I thought and giddily headed back to the two dogs (kennel mates) I wanted to take out first.
Country and Dudley were their names, Country was a big, brown and white pointer/lab mix and Dudley was a, rusty-colored beagle/lab mix, both young, both boys. I chose to take them out first because they seemed a bit shy in their kennel, especially Country, who initially wouldn't even come when I called him or make any eye contact.
I entered the kennel, leads in hand and bent down, my back facing the dogs. This is what I do with shy dog introductions to let them smell and know me in as unobtrusive way as possible... it is polite in the dog world after all to show your 'butt-side' prior to your front side. Once Country and Dudley approached me (my back) I faced them sideways, still crouched down, making no real eye contact and was able to leash them.
MDAS has a small, concrete, fenced area that is great for adopter meet and greets since it's immediately outside the main building. It also has an expansive, fenced, grassy area across the parking lot, a little walk from the main shelter. This area is an oasis for shelter dogs, and where I would take them to run and play as long as time permitted (10 min segments usually). It's also where I would go with shelter volunteers when helping train them and to take dogs out to play. I took Country and Dudley there, to the 'oasis.' Seeing them transform into gleeful, playful, bouncing puppy dogs within minutes of being outside made my heart burst with love and joy. I felt so extremely happy and thought, "I love this job!"
I continued to socialize Country and Dudley the next few days. They quickly grew to know and trust me as I did them.
Then on my fourth day I went to their kennel only to find two other dogs in their place (it's rare to see an empty kennel at MDAS, and if you find one, it won't be empty for long). Where were Country and Dudley? Had they been moved, adopted?
I quickly checked in the computer and discovered they had been moved to WW63. I asked a co-worker, "Hey, why were these 2 dogs moved to the end of WW?"
"Oh, that's it for them then. They got kennel cough; that's why they're there," he said.
"Kennel cough, well that's no big deal to treat. That shouldn't be the end of the line for them just over a little cough," I replied.
I quickly learned that at MDAS it was indeed the end of the line for most dogs that ended up there, in this 'URI' (upper respiratory infection) area. Dogs moved to URI were treated while there however shelter policy didn't allow them to ever be moved back to the adoption floor, even once they were cured of kennel cough. The URI area wasn't and isn't accessible to shelter guests, aka potential adopters, so it's rare for a dog to be adopted out of the URI area since most people never even know it's there. -Not adopted, no interest in a pet, in URI most often equals euthanasia.
I was horrified. How could these 2 sweet doggies, my friends, be killed for having a little doggy cold and cough?
I simply could not let that happen. These were my friends. I had promised them in our time together in the yard that I would find them both great homes. I had told them not to worry. They trusted me. Country was making such progress! I couldn't let them die over a cold that could be cleared up in a few days.
To make (this part) of a long story short- I asked around until I found a friend, a friend of my boyfriend's to be exact, to foster Country, and Fabricio, my boyfriend, and I fostered Dudley. As luck would have it there was a major adoption event, mega-match-a-thon, just a couple of weeks away. I used this as a bargaining tool to help convince our friend Paulo to foster Country and for me to be able to foster Dudley- we already had 4 dogs in a 1-bedroom apartment.
I felt certain Country and Dudley would be well over kennel cough by the time the adoption event came around and even more certain (and hopeful) they'd find their forever homes there.
The adoption event was a magnificent success, with more than 100 pets adopted. I was able to meet Dudley's adopters, a sweet, young couple. They were great; my heart burst with love and joy once again.
When my shift had ended at the mega event Country had yet to be adopted.
The next day I found out he had been adopted but couldn't get much information on the adopter.
I called his adopter as soon as his data was entered into our computer system (it takes a few days to input this many adoptions).
The gentleman didn't seem to be the 'ideal dog owner' over the phone.
"He won't come to me, he just stands at the back of the yard, he doesn't do anything," the man said.
I was instantly worry-stricken.
"Have you tried walking Country? He's shy at first. You just need to put in the time and energy to build that bond with him then I'm sure you all with be happy together... he was thriving in his foster home, he can do great with you too," I pleaded, sounding as patient and kind as possible.
Fast forward from the day of that phone call to a few months later~
I'm in C ward- B and C rooms are designated for sick, injured, pregnant or nursing dogs- and this dog instantly catches my eye.
"You look so familiar," I said to him as I bent down.
I looked and looked. Oh God, it was Country. And he had a broken leg. And large ticks all around his neck. And his fur seemed it hadn't been petted in months. He was dirty. He still had on his shelter ID neck band even though he had left the shelter months ago! His shithead adopter never even bothered to cut off his shelter ID neck band! I was outraged and deeply saddened.
Upon reviewing his intake information in the computer I discovered he had come in as a 'stray' after being hit by a car on a busy road. Damn it!
I called Country's owner.
"Oh, he got out of the yard a few weeks ago and we never saw him again," he nonchalantly told me.
Poor Country, now what?!
By this point I had realized I could not save every dog I grew to love at the shelter. I could not foster every dog I grew to love. I couldn't foster Country. It would be a long-term foster due to his injury and I couldn't risk having a 5th dog in our apartment for that long for fears of being discovered as the 'dog lady' and potentially evicted!
I called Paulo to see if he could resume fostering Country for a while. He couldn't. He was traveling for work in the coming weeks. Damn it!
To make (this part) of a long story short Country was saved by the bell (and Dr. Serrano). He was transferred to the Humane Society thanks to a fund especially designated to operate on injured dogs. Country lived, as far as I know. But he had to spend weeks on cage rest in a vet's office, perhaps only getting out for a few minutes/day. Poor Country. Being locked up, confined, was what he feared and despised most and that became his life... for how long I don't know.
I called to check on him a couple of times but it always seemed the vet workers weren't 'bonded' with him. They were indifferent when talking about Country and his progress. I wanted to visit Country, to walk him, but I couldn't. MDAS had consumed me by this point in the game (yes, even though I had only been there a few months) and there were so many other dogs I was trying to help- constantly. Country was scheduled to go up for adoption at the Humane Society of Miami Dade once he fully recovered from his surgery. That's all I knew, that's all I'll ever know.
I set out to write this blog about networking dogs in shelters but I got distracted... what do you know... kind of like working in a shelter. Anyhow, I was able to help save many lives that were doomed, dogs like Country and Dudley, through networking. Clearly each of us only has so many good friends like Paulo that can foster or adopt a pet at any given time. Thank God I was able to find a way to reach a bigger audience to network MDAS dogs during my tenure there. Thank God for that. I'll have to write about that in my next blog so please stay tuned.

Until then leep on keepin' on rescue folks... volunteering, praying, transporting, networking, fostering!

Country at our old apt, smiling

Dudley always loved the tennis ball!

Country making himself right at home

Dudley resting

Letter to Lisa

Lisa,
So here it is 2 weeks later and I'm still thinking about you.
It all started in recovery, that's where we first met.
It was hectically busy for me that day, as always. I hustled into the recovery room to retrieve a recently sterilized dog for an adopter or a foster, the particular dog or person it was for I cannot recall, only that I was in recovery to get someone's dog.
Partially laying on your side, partially sitting upright, in a bottom corner cage with big doe eyes, and an even bigger belly, you caught my eye. Then I took a quick moment to consciously focus my attention on you.
You looked like a deer caught in the headlights, almost frozen, nearly expressionless. The fact that you looked and acted a lot like a dog I had fostered months ago and seeing your big, protruding belly brought on an instant surge of nearly-overwhelming empathy.
"I'll be back to see you. Tomorrow I'll get you out, I promise. Hang in there," I said to you, almost sternly. I needed you to be strong... for your own good.
At home that night you crossed my mind a couple of times. -Interacting with you as I had promised gave me something great to look forward to for the following day.
It's always that way for me; the animals make me want to, need to, get to work day after day.
The promise of the possibility to save a life, the sense of obligation I feel towards all of you pets is immensely powerful.
And committing to working on a particular dog is something I take very seriously... it's something I 'take on.'
There are interludes in which I try not to become personally involved with particular dogs in this manner. The deep level of involvement, the intensely emotional liability of it all can be nearly too much to handle. Knowing how devastating it is to lose one of you that I've been working with personally can make me shy away from this level of personal involvement but... it never lasts.
These anti-personal-involvement-interludes typically have a 3-5 day duration before I'm 'on to the the next one;' my love for you is simply so much greater than my fear of being burned by your loss.
With you Lisa, I had made a verbal commitment to get you out of your cage, but an even greater, unspoken commitment to get you out of the shelter.
"DOES NOT WALK ON LEASH" was written in red sharpie on your kennel card.
OK, I thought, let's see how well pregnant me can coerce pregnant you to walk- not very well.
But with some pulling, gentle insisting and positive vibration (forget your positive reinforcement with a dog that's this fearful) we did manage our way out of recover, down the short hallway and out the door to... freedom. -Sort of like freedom, the little fenced in play area, it was the most free you'd been since arriving at Animal Services anyhow.
For you Lis, the positive effect of being outside was immediate and tangible. You softened.
Your body relaxed a bit.Your mouth opened, as you breathed rapidly but easily. This is how you needed to be breathing, you would be birthing pups soon.
You took cover in a corner facing real freedom behind a plastic garbage can. You felt safe there and I let you be.
15 minutes or so passed. A lovely retired married couple of shelter volunteers were there with us in the yard, socializing other dogs. The other dogs' presence only put you more at ease. After all, you had been 'found' running free with a pack of feral dogs. You and those dogs were caught and brought to Animal Services.
You, Lisa, were a dogs' dog, oppose to a mans' dog. You preferred the company of your own kind and I can't say I blame you.
Not wanting to rush you but not wanting to neglect my other work duties, I asked the couple if you could stay out with them for a while. They kindly obliged and you were out 45 minutes or so before we had to put you up.
Another day, similar scenario. A different shelter volunteer (one that loves mommy dogs so much) and I took you out. You were once again content just to be outside. That day you even had a bath by two mommy-loving volunteers/fosters.
I had sent an email plea to shelter fosters on your behalf; you along with a couple of other nursing mommies were featured in the email. You were the only one still pregnant of the group. You seemed to be in the earliest stages of labor and just a day or so from birthing your puppies.
I felt hope for you Lisa. There was talk that you could go to one foster's home as soon as she could place her other foster.
Then, on Friday morning (my mom and grandma would be coming in town that Friday night) I received a text stating, "they killed the white, pregnant mommy."
The volunteer/foster that had met, loved and wanted to help you too sent me the text. She was at the shelter before me.
"No," I said aloud as my stomach sank, my shoulders following.
My boyfriend said, "What?"
I told him about you, while crying.
"That job is too much on you, you get so upset. it's not good for you," he said.
He didn't understand how I felt. How could he? How could I?
This all happened in the span of a week and I did not see it coming, at all.
My grandmother and mom were here for 3 days. I didn't mention you to them. What would I say? But I assure you Lis, you were on my mind that whole time.
It was strange. I felt like you weren't really gone, probably because I didn't take or have time to mourn you.
I looked up the person that put you to sleep. I looked at the dosage you were given.
I asked the clinic supervisor, "Shouldn't she have been given extra dosage since she was extremely pregnant and had fetuses inside of her?"
She said no, that your babies died quickly once you stopped breathing.
That's hard for me to comprehend.
 I imagined your babies inside of you, breathing amniotic fluid, alive and well, moving around.. .alive, only to suffocate inside of your deceased body.
 I couldn't help but seeing you in my mind's horrified eye, being eased into a bio-hazard garbage bag, tossed onto a truck with other bodies.
I'm sorry Lisa. It does you no justice to speak of such horror.
You were an inspiration to me.
You touched my heart.
Seeing how naturally and beautifully you breathed, labor-type of breathing, seeing how at ease you were in nature, how at ease you were with your big belly, how in tune you were with nature, how gentle you were, how much you wanted to trust, how you just needed time... you inspired me.
You are one of my pregnancy role models girl. I still think of you.
Though it may sound corny, though no one may believe me- I will think of you, and will do my best to birth my baby naturally and with dignity as you would have birthed yours. I'm sorry you didn't have the chance to birth yours Lis but I promise I will do my very best birthing mine in your honor and memory. -Promise.

Lisa, enjoying time outside.

Originally written a couple of weeks ago, on paper.

Posted 28th November by Jessica Pita

Labels: animal services animal welfare ASPCA feral dogs Humane Society of the USpregnancy pregnant dog sheltering spaying

Adoption Counseling 101

                Adoption Counseling 101 (for any shelter volunteers or staff) 

I wrote this for MDAS volunteers nearly one year ago. When I initially wrote and shared a couple of staffers from other shelters asked if they could share, or use portions of it, for their volunteers. I said, of course, and figured I should blog it in case helpful to anyone else:

Adoption Counseling 101:

Many people who come to Animal Services to adopt are coming here for the 1^st time.

They don’t know where to begin or how the process works. To make matters trickier Animal Services often has new volunteers who can’t remember how everything works or how to assist adopters (there’s a lot to remember!)

For these reasons I’ve created Adoption Counseling 101. Between now and the next time you come to MDAS to volunteer please read this document thoroughly (you can even bring it with you if you like).

Adopter Enters the Adoption/Kennel Area:

As soon as you see someone new walk through the double doors to adoptions or walking around looking lost or confused, greet them.

“Welcome! Is this your 1^st time here? What are you mainly interested in seeing today- cats, kittens, dogs, puppies, small, large?” (you can tweak this greeting to your liking but this covers all the beginning bases).

Based on the answer you get say, (small dog example here):

“OK great, we have plenty of smaller-breed dogs. You need to take this paper (adoption paper on the left wall in front of kennel computer) and this little pencil, go through and look at all dogs in the small dog area.(Gesture where the small dogs are as you speak, or personally show them!).

Emphasize at this point to LOOK at ALL DOGS, CATS, KITTENS or whatever they may be interested in.

Explain to guests that people often find 3 dogs they like in the 1^st run (for example) then just stop looking!  This means dogs at the end of the runs, or pets in the bottom cages or end cages are often not seen because no one makes it down that far. Guests commonly feel overwhelmed to see so many homeless pets and they stop before seeing and considering them all. So try to assure they’re viewing all of their adoption options here… the more pets they see/consider the more likely they are to fall in love with one!

It’s your job to also help guests to not feel overwhelmed. Coach them saying things like,

“You’re going to save a life today!”

“Will this be your 1^st time adopting? -How exciting!”

“Don’t feel bad you can’t take them all- you’re going to rescue one and that’s all that matters to that one!”

“Please do not feel overwhelmed. I know it’s hard but focus on narrowing it down to your top 3-5 choices and we’ll go from there.”

You also explain to adopters:

“Once you have your ‘potential adoptees’ list take it to the kennel computer to make sure those pets are available for adoption then we can get them out to interact and see which one(s) will be the best fit for your family!”

…And, that’s the 1^st step to Adoption Counseling

Meet and Greet:

This is typically a good time to have adopters grab a yellow ticket so they don’t have to wait too long when they’re ready to complete adoption process up front.

-To do a meet and greet for dogs always use the outside patio area or large yard unless it’s raining or it’s a puppy less than 4 months.

Reason being: the dogs show better outside; typically the 1^st thing they do is pee or poop outdoors and you can say,

“Wow! Looks like someone is already learning to potty outside- that’s a really good sign!”

And remember, our dogs are typically in cages 24 hrs. a day; if you’re getting them out for someone at least take them outside! That’s the least we can do for them.

(Try to spend no more than 10-20 minutes with a potential adopter per pet since there are always others waiting for your valuable time… on busy days J!)

-To do a meet and greet for a cat or kitten you can use the meet and greet room though often people are content simply holding or petting the cats in the cages.

Tricks of the Trade:

These are some little things I personally do or say that help:

-Explain to adopters when out with a dog that: nearly all dogs take the 1^st 5 minutes to a ½ hour to explore the outdoor environment. It’s completely normal for them to sniff everything and ‘ignore’ the humans for the first few minutes- tell them to not take it personal or think there’s no connection. Please do not judge the dog’s personality based on that very initial encounter. It may take minutes, days or even weeks for a dog to fully come out of its shell and feel comfortable with new people.

If someone is considering a shy dog tell them it makes the relationship even more special when it takes time for a bond to be formed. -For those of you who’ve loved and gained the trust of a shy or timid dog, you’ll know what I mean here.

-When someone wants to see an adult dog that’s in with another dog I ask, “Do you mind if I get both dogs out so the other can play too?”

I do this because I feel badly leaving one in the kennel L and because adopters may fall in love and find a better fit with the kennel mate instead of the one they’re interested in. This has happened to me a half a dozen times and it’s cool when it happens. And if you’re really lucky you may get someone who’s willing to take both dogs! You never know if you don’t try, but don’t be pushy or forceful, just nice, showing off our pets.

-Have a favorite cat or dog training book? Recommend it! I like to offer handouts we have here on crate training, cat introductions, sterilization, etc. and mention my favorite dog book and… adopters are typically very grateful.

-There are many other tips I could and will give as I work with you in person.

Thank you for reading this thoroughly before your next time volunteering! Feel free to share your own tips and tactics with other volunteers. JRemember… as an MDAS volunteer you are an adoption counselor, counseling people on responsible pet ownership.

an adoptable doggie :)

happy adopters!

Posted 21st July by Jessica Pita

Labels: animal services animal shelters animal welfare humane society pet adoption pet care petco petsmart volunteers

"Do Gooder"

From time to time I've been called (to my face) a 'do-gooder.'
 I've heard things like, "Oh, you're one of those," or "So you're a tree-hugger, crazy animal person, etc.'
Dozens of people have said these things to me over the years.
Maybe you've heard similar comments a time or two yourself.
When I hear these words from someone's mouth I'm always a bit taken aback, surprised and caught off guard.
Why am I so shocked to hear these comments? What's the big deal?
Perhaps I find it offensive when someone treats issues I view as important, even fundamental to life as we know it, as if they're silly or meaningless. I guess this shocks me and catches me completely off guard every  time it happens.
Maybe I'm so taken aback when these terms are used because they reveal a complete void, a complete lack of empathy on the other person's side.
And I don't mean empathy for me, I mean empathy relating to the issues, whether it's drilling for oil in some of our country's last sacred places, or the fact that we euthanize millions ofpets every year (as a country), or knowing that most major cosmetic and cleaning companies still test on animals, or the fact that most of our waterways are severely contaminated with mercury (what would Marvin Gaye say nowadays?!).
When discussing these types of issues there are many people who are in fact not capable of empathizing with those suffering (the land, the dog, the cat, the air, the neighboring communities, the rabbit, the water, our very planet, etc.).
There, I figured it out. Now I understand why it shocks me, catches me so off guard, when people use nonchalant, dismissive terms to 'sum me up' when I speak of issues of importance to me.
-It's the painful lack of empathy.
If you're a 'do-gooder' like me, whether your cause be: raising awareness about poverty, children's cancer, women's rights, abortion, the pivotal increase in rhino and elephant poaching over the past year, the manatee, the Tibetan regime, etc., I'm sure you've experienced similar frustration when discussing 'your cause,' 'your passion' with certain individuals.
It's almost as if we ('do-gooders') are predisposition-ed in our DNA to be empathetic whereas others are not.
And you know, oftentimes I envy those who are not cursed with this blessing of extreme empathy and sensitivity.
They have an invisible boundary line where sensitive material stops, a natural censor on disturbing sights, sounds or facts that surround us. They often live in a pleasant, dumb state of denial... must be nice. Many of these people are very successful, bothersome emotions don't get in the way of them climbing the ladder. Many of them are happy. And, they're not necessarily bad people. In complete sincerity I say I envy this disconnect many humans enjoy.
It begs the question- why bother caring?
Why should I care when my neighbors, 3 doors down, surrender their two, cute puppies at the shelter where I work?
They're not losing sleep over these innocent, now-confused, 3 month old girls sitting in a cold, lonely, small cage that are used to being able to pee and poop outside, so why should I?
Or the couple that turned in their adult American Bulldog yesterday because it was too big for their condo association and proceeded to adopt a 5 week old lab mix right after turning in their family pet of 2 years.
 I talked to this couple. I told them what they were doing was unfair.
 "A pet is for life, no one can 'make you' get rid of your dog. You always have a choice... to move... to be homeless for a while if necessary. The fact you're adopting another puppy, that will grow, the same day you turn in your own dog is very worrisome and is not o.k.," I said.
They stared at me, went to the front and proceeded to adopt the 5 week old puppy. Why should I feel sorry for their adult bulldog dumped at the shelter. They certainly weren't shedding tears over him.
I spoke with my neighbors this morning on the walk with my dogs.
 "I saw your puppies at the shelter where I work. That really should have been your absolute last option. The pups could easily get sick in the shelter and be put to sleep. Are you going to get the mother dog spayed now so she doesn't have more puppies you're unable to care for?"
They also stared at me and said, "Um I don't know, maybe."
These are a couple of examples of situations I deal with daily.
Does it take a toll?
Of course.
What do I do about it?
I'm figuring that out.
I know how to be centered, enlightened, content, peaceful, happy. I've achieved it time and time again but it takes work. I have my moments of sheer enlightenment, they typically come through meditation, reading the works of enlightened authors, prayer, being still.
A few days ago I said to my boyfriend, "I live on a spiritual plane now. None of this here matters. It's the spiritual, energetic field that matters. I am aligned with that." And I meant it. I looked and felt better.
I suppose I should write only when I'm in that state and all my blogs will be positive, profound, enlightening. But, that's not how life is lived for most of us. It's a series of ups and downs, sadness and joy, confusion and confidence. We experience periods of knowing, connection, insight just as we experience periods of fear, disconnect and depression. My goal is to learn to live in a peaceful, mostly happy state most of the time. We are here to learn.
As Deepak says (not verbatim), "If we were all already enlightened we wouldn't be here."
Related Affirmation:

I feel God/Universal Light and Energy. There is a limitless source of divine intelligence and love surrounding me at all times, waiting for me to tap into it. It's there for all of us. This powerful energy and force is infinite, eternal therefore there's no need to be stingy with it... everyone can tap it, drink from this fountain of eternal knowledge. It lives in me and you. I now allow divine light and intelligence to work with and through me. Love radiates from me. I only see the good in life and have loving thoughts and words to share.

Psalm 46: Be still, and know that I am God.

Unable to get your important message through?

Some will relate to this. Some will not.
As Adoption Coordinator at Miami's municipal animal shelter it often seems important messages I try to relay are falling on deaf ears. They are.
Daily I encounter people turning in their pets because, "they're moving, they've had a new baby, they've lost their job, the pet was never really theirs and they were just watching it- for a few months or years, and so on and so on."
Time and time again I respond saying things such as, "Your pet should be a part of your family. A pet is not disposable, it's a living, breathing,sentient being. This should be your absolute last option. Have you weighed your other options? I moved here from Kentucky and brought my 2 dogs, cat and bird along with me- moving is not a reason to surrender a pet, and so on and so forth."
Time and time again I hear great ideas from shelter volunteers. They say things like, "Why doesn't the shelter do follow up calls for adopters? Why doesn't the shelter have a race where everyone can run with a shelter pet? Why doesn't the shelter put bandannas on all the dogs? and so on and so forth."
I challenge these volunteers to DO IT! Make it happen. I say things like, "I love your idea. That would be amazing, now why don't you get it going? Make it your special project and when you're making some progress with the overall plan let's touch base and move forward."
I explain to volunteers that as one person I can only do so much (foster program, helping adopters daily, pet of the week, pet depictions online, training adoption counselor volunteers, etc., etc) and that I/the shelter need them to breathe life into their ideas and projects, making them happen.
Of the people with whom I've had this conversation none of them have followed through. We have EXCELLENT volunteers and this is not to knock them but to make the point: in life you will inevitably feel an important message or purpose you're devoting your time, breathe and energy too is, at times, falling on deaf ears and being seen by blind eyes. That is, if you are devoting some portion of your life to some purpose greater than yourself.
I encounter this frustration daily on a very intimate, personal level, on various levels. Animal Welfare is my life's passion. Daily I meet people who refuse to spay and neuter their pets when I know it's the right thing to do. I see innocent dogs and cats losing the fragile battle of life daily due to pet overpopulation. I see mammary tumors develop on unaltered females, countless unaltered males end up at the shelter because they were out, following instinct, 'roaming,' looking to mate. Yet I hear at least 1-3 people a day refusing to sterilize their pets. This can become draining, overwhelming, exhausting and depressing. But...
I know there's a light at the end of the tunnel. I know this through my own life experience (that's really how we learn everything we know when you break it all down, through our own personal experiences).
Let me backtrack and give examples of when I was on the receiving end of people trying to get an important message through to me and I wouldn't listen.
As a very young person (14-22 yrs. old) I abused alcohol and drugs. I had zero self esteem or self worth. I was careless with my own life and that of others. I would constantly drink and drive, would take shameful risks when under the influence of alcohol and/or drugs and basically didn't give a damn whether I lived or died. I paid the price for my careless way in more ways than you can likely imagine. (Note: during these 'crazy years' I still had respect and awe for nature and animals- my passion for environmental and animal welfare has never escaped me but clearly I couldn't effectively advocate as an addict). During these 'crazy' years many people tried to get through to me. When I was 18 years old a police woman at an Indiana jail told me, "You're too pretty, too young to be here. What are you doing to yourself?"
My father sobbed, begging me to change my ways at the age of 17. My mother could barely look at me for a while to preserve her own sanity and feelings. My grandmother... I can't even go there. She's well... my grandmother.
Anyhow, I heard the same messages time after time, yet time after time I would commit the same crimes, make the same potentially fatal mistakes. The'important messages' I was being given by many were not getting through. I spent nearly 10 years on and off the 'wrong path.' I'm lucky to be alive. I'm lucky to have graduated from college, to be a sane, functioning, tax-paying, honorable citizen.
Eventually everything everyone had said to me, emotions and energy they had shared with me, time and time again, began to sink in on some level. I went into recovery (did some inpatient, some outpatient) at the age of 20. I turned 21 sober. It was weird.
Now a couple of things in particular stick out in my memory...concepts, messages, ideas I could not comprehend at one time, that I now accept as fact.
One example, my sponsor in AA, Mary Jane (yes, that's her real name), would tell me "God is Everything or God is Nothing." We would argue about this ideology years ago. I just didn't get it. How could God be Everything? That would make God part of bad things too. Impossible. Now I believe and accept this as reality and fact.
And, think of all of the great, early on explorers,  inventors, doctors such as, Magellan, the Wright Brothers, Albert Schatz, etc. How do you think they must have felt trying to get their important life-changing, world-changing messages, ideologies and theories through to the masses?
They must have felt very overwhelmed, depressed, frustrated, and even hopeless at times.
But they didn't give up.
People didn't give up on me when I was clueless, hopeless. And I won't give up on people when they're clueless, hopeless.
Those who truly believe in what they're 'fighting for,' the important messages they're trying to get through to the world will not and cannot give up.
So the next time you're getting frustrated, trying to get your important message through to someone who's just not getting it... take a deep breathe, know that your efforts are not in vain, that it may be months, or even years before your message sinks it, but, eventually it will, as long as the message you're trying to relay is a good one.
...What's a "good message?" One that's not self-serving, one that benefits at least one living being (human, plant or animal) on this planet and does not harm anyone or thing in the process of benefiting the other(s).
That's a good message. Blessed be yours. -If you don't have one, get one.

Posted 3rd September 2012 by Jessica Pita