Showing posts with label spaying. Show all posts
Showing posts with label spaying. Show all posts

Sunday, December 29, 2013

When Someone You Know and Love Buys from a Breeder

If you're not involved in pet rescue you may not understand the title of this blog.
So read it, so you can understand.
Over the years I've heard about friends of rescue friends buying a dog from a breeder oppose to adopting. Over the years I've heard about this action breaking up friendships or driving a wedge between people.
I've also experienced this on a personal level and it has converted once-lovely-friendships into an abyss of separation a time or two.
A few years ago while working at Animal Services I had a girlfriend that wanted a dog, a puppy.
On various occasions I showed her pictures of adoptable pets, I spoke to her about how rewarding adoption was, how she had the power to save a life and asked her regularly, "When are you going to adopt?!"
The next thing I know she's posting pictures on facebook of a french bulldog puppy.
I was horrified.
We discussed her purchase briefly and she said the typical things breeder-buyers say: we wanted this certain breed, we wanted it to be a puppy, it was a sporadic decision, etc.
To make matters worse this 'friend' opted not to neuter her new frenchie (doesn't every other person on the block have one of these breeds now?).
Immediately our friendship changed. We lost touch.
I felt angry and disappointed on behalf of all the dogs that had missed out on a loving home due to my friend's decision.
And that's the issue- when an animal-loving-pet-owner to-be chooses to buy oppose to adoptthis person is inevitably choosing not to save a shelter pet's life. This person is choosing to be an onlooker, a bystander, a spectator- seeing, hearing of the shelter pets waiting for loving homes, knowing the shelter pets are being put to sleep daily, but choosing to do nothing about it. These bystanders are choosing not to be part of the solution, choosing not to help end euthanasia by their decision to buy rather than adopt. It's just that simple.
And something so strange to me is, the grand majority of people that buy from breeders are big-time animal lovers and are generally great pet owners. You'd think they'd make the connection on their own-
adoption = saving a pet's life, I want to save a pet's life because I love pets!
Now 15-20 years ago it was a different story. Some of you, my animal-rescue-friends, bought a pet from a breeder yourselves, some of you were even involved in breeding, but you didn't know about the plight of our shelter pets then. "You don't know what you don't know," as the saying goes.
We cannot really blame people for not knowing something, but nowadays, let's be honest- how many people are truly unaware of their local animal shelters? Hasn't just about everyone seen the ASPCA commercials featuring sorry-looking abandoned animals? Isn't the 'Humane Society' an organization that pretty much everyone has at least heard of? There are huge billboards up about pet rescue for God's sake.
And getting back to the title of this blog, "When someone you know and love buys from a breeder," we're talking specifically about people that are aware of shelter pets' plight... through me, through you, the animal activist people!
They know all too well about shelter pets, they see their pictures that you send out and everything, then they choose to buy from a breeder... ouch. That hurts. Really bad.
This is a wound that has recently been ripped open, by someone in my family.
Friends you can disassociate with if need be, if their breeder-buying-behavior perturbs you so, but when it's someone in your own family, it becomes stickier.
My aunt is a big-time dog lover. She loves all animals and is one of the sweetest people I know. She's gentle, kind, always eager to help anyone in need, a hard worker and active in her church.
She visited me years ago at Animal Services in Louisville when I worked there in the kennels. We took out dogs to play. She loved all of them so much. I made her promise me that, 'next time she would adopt.'
At the time she had a wonderful Golden Retriever named Duke that her and her husband had bought from a breeder. She said, "next time we will probably adopt, I know there are so many," or something along those lines.
Over the past couple of years as I worked as Adoption Counselor/Foster Care Coordinator for MDAS I would include her on email blasts about dogs in desperate need of rescue. She received emails about puppies, nursing litters, adults... you name it. I included her to keep rescue top of mind, even though she was in Kentucky and I was in Florida. She would even forward my emails to friends she has in the Fl area!
Some months ago her beloved Duke passed away after a long, good fight against cancer. My aunt arranged for weekly acupuncture treatments for Duke while he was alive, this helped prolong his life and the quality of it for a very long time; my aunt was and is a superb pet owner.
Some time passed and I began nudging her to consider adopting another dog; I knew they were going to get another dog.
When I was home during the summer I told my aunt's husband in a low tone, just between the two of us, "Don't you dare buy from a breeder. I mean it. There are too many at the shelter. It would tear me up if you all did that."
He seemed to feel a bit uneasy and moved off. For the record, my aunt's husband is a great guy and a huge dog lover too. But he had always bought his dogs from breeders.
And that's the thing here, old habits die hard.
About a week ago my dad asked me, over the phone, "Did you hear your aunt and _________ bought a new Golden puppy?"
My heart sunk. I quickly retorted, "I don't want to hear about it."
He said, "Oh that puppy needed a home too now," so, wow, even my own father doesn't 'get it.' -Scary and sad.
Analogy intermission: if your last 5 cars have been Hondas and you've had great luck with all of them... you love the way they drive, the way they handle, the way the engine sounds when you start it up (very 'honda'), the reliability of the car... and someone tries to convince you to get a Toyota, you're not going be very likely to go, "Oh OK, why not give Toyota a try sinceyou think they're just as good."
In essence me insisting on my aunt adopting a dog, likely a mixed breed, rather than her buying a Golden Retriever, a breed she had grown to trust and love dearly through her own life's experience, was a threat.
It does feel threatening and uneasy to go outside of one's comfort one. -You know what you love and are comfortable with by God.
My aunt knew what a great experience she had with Duke for all of those years. She wanted to have an equally gratifying experience with her new dog and apparently just didn't have faith enough to go out of her comfort one and adopt (perhaps a different breed or rescue an older Golden) rather than buy.
That's extremely sad to me. I know so many excellent shelter dogs waiting for loving homes.
There are great ones on any given day being put to sleep because of wonderful pet-owners like my aunt and her husband that can't make that jump from buying to adopting (I know this is only one aspect of why pets are put down), they must not have enough faith in the dog, the shelter dog, that it will be as faithful, well-mannered, good-tempered and as overall wonderful as their pure bred Golden or whatever the breed may be. If that sounds extreme, I'm sorry, but it's true. Remember, if one chooses to buy, one chooses not to save the life of a pet in desperate need. Period.
These spectators must feel there's something 'special about the breed,' they like and they're right, there's something special about every breed, about every pet, about every living being for that matter.
As a shepherd mix owner/lover I have a soft spot for any brown dog with some black on its face that I see.
It is just as easy to form a beautiful bond with a mixed breed as with a pure breed.
Our spectators need to choose to take that leap of faith and find this out for themselves. One day I hope they will.
Who knows, maybe my aunt will adopt a 2nd dog just for the heck of it... just to save a life. Would that be such an outrageous thing to do? -I don't think so.
I do know she'll neuter her new Golden puppy so that's one positive aspect of the entire situation.
-All the best.


If you buy from a breeder you're choosing not to save my life!
you're ignoring that I'm here in danger of being put to sleep when you buy from a breeder!
You're telling yourself someone else will take me and my sister but they might not!

Buy from a breeder and I'm forgotten by one more person- you.

Get your dog from a breeder while I sit in a cage getting more depressed by the day.


Letter to Lisa

Lisa,
So here it is 2 weeks later and I'm still thinking about you.
It all started in recovery, that's where we first met.
It was hectically busy for me that day, as always. I hustled into the recovery room to retrieve a recently sterilized dog for an adopter or a foster, the particular dog or person it was for I cannot recall, only that I was in recovery to get someone's dog.
Partially laying on your side, partially sitting upright, in a bottom corner cage with big doe eyes, and an even bigger belly, you caught my eye. Then I took a quick moment to consciously focus my attention on you.
You looked like a deer caught in the headlights, almost frozen, nearly expressionless. The fact that you looked and acted a lot like a dog I had fostered months ago and seeing your big, protruding belly brought on an instant surge of nearly-overwhelming empathy.
"I'll be back to see you. Tomorrow I'll get you out, I promise. Hang in there," I said to you, almost sternly. I needed you to be strong... for your own good.
At home that night you crossed my mind a couple of times. -Interacting with you as I had promised gave me something great to look forward to for the following day.
It's always that way for me; the animals make me want to, need to, get to work day after day.
The promise of the possibility to save a life, the sense of obligation I feel towards all of you pets is immensely powerful.
And committing to working on a particular dog is something I take very seriously... it's something I 'take on.'
There are interludes in which I try not to become personally involved with particular dogs in this manner. The deep level of involvement, the intensely emotional liability of it all can be nearly too much to handle. Knowing how devastating it is to lose one of you that I've been working with personally can make me shy away from this level of personal involvement but... it never lasts.
These anti-personal-involvement-interludes typically have a 3-5 day duration before I'm 'on to the the next one;' my love for you is simply so much greater than my fear of being burned by your loss.
With you Lisa, I had made a verbal commitment to get you out of your cage, but an even greater, unspoken commitment to get you out of the shelter.
"DOES NOT WALK ON LEASH" was written in red sharpie on your kennel card.
OK, I thought, let's see how well pregnant me can coerce pregnant you to walk- not very well.
But with some pulling, gentle insisting and positive vibration (forget your positive reinforcement with a dog that's this fearful) we did manage our way out of recover, down the short hallway and out the door to... freedom. -Sort of like freedom, the little fenced in play area, it was the most free you'd been since arriving at Animal Services anyhow.
For you Lis, the positive effect of being outside was immediate and tangible. You softened.
Your body relaxed a bit.Your mouth opened, as you breathed rapidly but easily. This is how you needed to be breathing, you would be birthing pups soon.
You took cover in a corner facing real freedom behind a plastic garbage can. You felt safe there and I let you be.
15 minutes or so passed. A lovely retired married couple of shelter volunteers were there with us in the yard, socializing other dogs. The other dogs' presence only put you more at ease. After all, you had been 'found' running free with a pack of feral dogs. You and those dogs were caught and brought to Animal Services.
You, Lisa, were a dogs' dog, oppose to a mans' dog. You preferred the company of your own kind and I can't say I blame you.
Not wanting to rush you but not wanting to neglect my other work duties, I asked the couple if you could stay out with them for a while. They kindly obliged and you were out 45 minutes or so before we had to put you up.
Another day, similar scenario. A different shelter volunteer (one that loves mommy dogs so much) and I took you out. You were once again content just to be outside. That day you even had a bath by two mommy-loving volunteers/fosters.
I had sent an email plea to shelter fosters on your behalf; you along with a couple of other nursing mommies were featured in the email. You were the only one still pregnant of the group. You seemed to be in the earliest stages of labor and just a day or so from birthing your puppies.
I felt hope for you Lisa. There was talk that you could go to one foster's home as soon as she could place her other foster.
Then, on Friday morning (my mom and grandma would be coming in town that Friday night) I received a text stating, "they killed the white, pregnant mommy."
The volunteer/foster that had met, loved and wanted to help you too sent me the text. She was at the shelter before me.
"No," I said aloud as my stomach sank, my shoulders following.
My boyfriend said, "What?"
I told him about you, while crying.
"That job is too much on you, you get so upset. it's not good for you," he said.
He didn't understand how I felt. How could he? How could I?
This all happened in the span of a week and I did not see it coming, at all.
My grandmother and mom were here for 3 days. I didn't mention you to them. What would I say? But I assure you Lis, you were on my mind that whole time.
It was strange. I felt like you weren't really gone, probably because I didn't take or have time to mourn you.
I looked up the person that put you to sleep. I looked at the dosage you were given.
I asked the clinic supervisor, "Shouldn't she have been given extra dosage since she was extremely pregnant and had fetuses inside of her?"
She said no, that your babies died quickly once you stopped breathing.
That's hard for me to comprehend.
 I imagined your babies inside of you, breathing amniotic fluid, alive and well, moving around.. .alive, only to suffocate inside of your deceased body.
 I couldn't help but seeing you in my mind's horrified eye, being eased into a bio-hazard garbage bag, tossed onto a truck with other bodies.
I'm sorry Lisa. It does you no justice to speak of such horror.
You were an inspiration to me.
You touched my heart.
Seeing how naturally and beautifully you breathed, labor-type of breathing, seeing how at ease you were in nature, how at ease you were with your big belly, how in tune you were with nature, how gentle you were, how much you wanted to trust, how you just needed time... you inspired me.
You are one of my pregnancy role models girl. I still think of you.
Though it may sound corny, though no one may believe me- I will think of you, and will do my best to birth my baby naturally and with dignity as you would have birthed yours. I'm sorry you didn't have the chance to birth yours Lis but I promise I will do my very best birthing mine in your honor and memory. -Promise.

Lisa, enjoying time outside.


Originally written a couple of weeks ago, on paper.