When Someone You Know and Love Buys from a Breeder

If you're not involved in pet rescue you may not understand the title of this blog.
So read it, so you can understand.
Over the years I've heard about friends of rescue friends buying a dog from a breeder oppose to adopting. Over the years I've heard about this action breaking up friendships or driving a wedge between people.
I've also experienced this on a personal level and it has converted once-lovely-friendships into an abyss of separation a time or two.
A few years ago while working at Animal Services I had a girlfriend that wanted a dog, a puppy.
On various occasions I showed her pictures of adoptable pets, I spoke to her about how rewarding adoption was, how she had the power to save a life and asked her regularly, "When are you going to adopt?!"
The next thing I know she's posting pictures on facebook of a french bulldog puppy.
I was horrified.
We discussed her purchase briefly and she said the typical things breeder-buyers say: we wanted this certain breed, we wanted it to be a puppy, it was a sporadic decision, etc.
To make matters worse this 'friend' opted not to neuter her new frenchie (doesn't every other person on the block have one of these breeds now?).
Immediately our friendship changed. We lost touch.
I felt angry and disappointed on behalf of all the dogs that had missed out on a loving home due to my friend's decision.
And that's the issue- when an animal-loving-pet-owner to-be chooses to buy oppose to adoptthis person is inevitably choosing not to save a shelter pet's life. This person is choosing to be an onlooker, a bystander, a spectator- seeing, hearing of the shelter pets waiting for loving homes, knowing the shelter pets are being put to sleep daily, but choosing to do nothing about it. These bystanders are choosing not to be part of the solution, choosing not to help end euthanasia by their decision to buy rather than adopt. It's just that simple.
And something so strange to me is, the grand majority of people that buy from breeders are big-time animal lovers and are generally great pet owners. You'd think they'd make the connection on their own-
adoption = saving a pet's life, I want to save a pet's life because I love pets!
Now 15-20 years ago it was a different story. Some of you, my animal-rescue-friends, bought a pet from a breeder yourselves, some of you were even involved in breeding, but you didn't know about the plight of our shelter pets then. "You don't know what you don't know," as the saying goes.
We cannot really blame people for not knowing something, but nowadays, let's be honest- how many people are truly unaware of their local animal shelters? Hasn't just about everyone seen the ASPCA commercials featuring sorry-looking abandoned animals? Isn't the 'Humane Society' an organization that pretty much everyone has at least heard of? There are huge billboards up about pet rescue for God's sake.
And getting back to the title of this blog, "When someone you know and love buys from a breeder," we're talking specifically about people that are aware of shelter pets' plight... through me, through you, the animal activist people!
They know all too well about shelter pets, they see their pictures that you send out and everything, then they choose to buy from a breeder... ouch. That hurts. Really bad.
This is a wound that has recently been ripped open, by someone in my family.
Friends you can disassociate with if need be, if their breeder-buying-behavior perturbs you so, but when it's someone in your own family, it becomes stickier.
My aunt is a big-time dog lover. She loves all animals and is one of the sweetest people I know. She's gentle, kind, always eager to help anyone in need, a hard worker and active in her church.
She visited me years ago at Animal Services in Louisville when I worked there in the kennels. We took out dogs to play. She loved all of them so much. I made her promise me that, 'next time she would adopt.'
At the time she had a wonderful Golden Retriever named Duke that her and her husband had bought from a breeder. She said, "next time we will probably adopt, I know there are so many," or something along those lines.
Over the past couple of years as I worked as Adoption Counselor/Foster Care Coordinator for MDAS I would include her on email blasts about dogs in desperate need of rescue. She received emails about puppies, nursing litters, adults... you name it. I included her to keep rescue top of mind, even though she was in Kentucky and I was in Florida. She would even forward my emails to friends she has in the Fl area!
Some months ago her beloved Duke passed away after a long, good fight against cancer. My aunt arranged for weekly acupuncture treatments for Duke while he was alive, this helped prolong his life and the quality of it for a very long time; my aunt was and is a superb pet owner.
Some time passed and I began nudging her to consider adopting another dog; I knew they were going to get another dog.
When I was home during the summer I told my aunt's husband in a low tone, just between the two of us, "Don't you dare buy from a breeder. I mean it. There are too many at the shelter. It would tear me up if you all did that."
He seemed to feel a bit uneasy and moved off. For the record, my aunt's husband is a great guy and a huge dog lover too. But he had always bought his dogs from breeders.
And that's the thing here, old habits die hard.
About a week ago my dad asked me, over the phone, "Did you hear your aunt and _________ bought a new Golden puppy?"
My heart sunk. I quickly retorted, "I don't want to hear about it."
He said, "Oh that puppy needed a home too now," so, wow, even my own father doesn't 'get it.' -Scary and sad.
Analogy intermission: if your last 5 cars have been Hondas and you've had great luck with all of them... you love the way they drive, the way they handle, the way the engine sounds when you start it up (very 'honda'), the reliability of the car... and someone tries to convince you to get a Toyota, you're not going be very likely to go, "Oh OK, why not give Toyota a try sinceyou think they're just as good."
In essence me insisting on my aunt adopting a dog, likely a mixed breed, rather than her buying a Golden Retriever, a breed she had grown to trust and love dearly through her own life's experience, was a threat.
It does feel threatening and uneasy to go outside of one's comfort one. -You know what you love and are comfortable with by God.
My aunt knew what a great experience she had with Duke for all of those years. She wanted to have an equally gratifying experience with her new dog and apparently just didn't have faith enough to go out of her comfort one and adopt (perhaps a different breed or rescue an older Golden) rather than buy.
That's extremely sad to me. I know so many excellent shelter dogs waiting for loving homes.
There are great ones on any given day being put to sleep because of wonderful pet-owners like my aunt and her husband that can't make that jump from buying to adopting (I know this is only one aspect of why pets are put down), they must not have enough faith in the dog, the shelter dog, that it will be as faithful, well-mannered, good-tempered and as overall wonderful as their pure bred Golden or whatever the breed may be. If that sounds extreme, I'm sorry, but it's true. Remember, if one chooses to buy, one chooses not to save the life of a pet in desperate need. Period.
These spectators must feel there's something 'special about the breed,' they like and they're right, there's something special about every breed, about every pet, about every living being for that matter.
As a shepherd mix owner/lover I have a soft spot for any brown dog with some black on its face that I see.
It is just as easy to form a beautiful bond with a mixed breed as with a pure breed.
Our spectators need to choose to take that leap of faith and find this out for themselves. One day I hope they will.
Who knows, maybe my aunt will adopt a 2nd dog just for the heck of it... just to save a life. Would that be such an outrageous thing to do? -I don't think so.
I do know she'll neuter her new Golden puppy so that's one positive aspect of the entire situation.
-All the best.

If you buy from a breeder you're choosing not to save my life!

you're ignoring that I'm here in danger of being put to sleep when you buy from a breeder!

You're telling yourself someone else will take me and my sister but they might not!

Buy from a breeder and I'm forgotten by one more person- you.

Get your dog from a breeder while I sit in a cage getting more depressed by the day.

Posted 21 hours ago by Jessica Pita

"Do Gooder"

From time to time I've been called (to my face) a 'do-gooder.'
 I've heard things like, "Oh, you're one of those," or "So you're a tree-hugger, crazy animal person, etc.'
Dozens of people have said these things to me over the years.
Maybe you've heard similar comments a time or two yourself.
When I hear these words from someone's mouth I'm always a bit taken aback, surprised and caught off guard.
Why am I so shocked to hear these comments? What's the big deal?
Perhaps I find it offensive when someone treats issues I view as important, even fundamental to life as we know it, as if they're silly or meaningless. I guess this shocks me and catches me completely off guard every  time it happens.
Maybe I'm so taken aback when these terms are used because they reveal a complete void, a complete lack of empathy on the other person's side.
And I don't mean empathy for me, I mean empathy relating to the issues, whether it's drilling for oil in some of our country's last sacred places, or the fact that we euthanize millions ofpets every year (as a country), or knowing that most major cosmetic and cleaning companies still test on animals, or the fact that most of our waterways are severely contaminated with mercury (what would Marvin Gaye say nowadays?!).
When discussing these types of issues there are many people who are in fact not capable of empathizing with those suffering (the land, the dog, the cat, the air, the neighboring communities, the rabbit, the water, our very planet, etc.).
There, I figured it out. Now I understand why it shocks me, catches me so off guard, when people use nonchalant, dismissive terms to 'sum me up' when I speak of issues of importance to me.
-It's the painful lack of empathy.
If you're a 'do-gooder' like me, whether your cause be: raising awareness about poverty, children's cancer, women's rights, abortion, the pivotal increase in rhino and elephant poaching over the past year, the manatee, the Tibetan regime, etc., I'm sure you've experienced similar frustration when discussing 'your cause,' 'your passion' with certain individuals.
It's almost as if we ('do-gooders') are predisposition-ed in our DNA to be empathetic whereas others are not.
And you know, oftentimes I envy those who are not cursed with this blessing of extreme empathy and sensitivity.
They have an invisible boundary line where sensitive material stops, a natural censor on disturbing sights, sounds or facts that surround us. They often live in a pleasant, dumb state of denial... must be nice. Many of these people are very successful, bothersome emotions don't get in the way of them climbing the ladder. Many of them are happy. And, they're not necessarily bad people. In complete sincerity I say I envy this disconnect many humans enjoy.
It begs the question- why bother caring?
Why should I care when my neighbors, 3 doors down, surrender their two, cute puppies at the shelter where I work?
They're not losing sleep over these innocent, now-confused, 3 month old girls sitting in a cold, lonely, small cage that are used to being able to pee and poop outside, so why should I?
Or the couple that turned in their adult American Bulldog yesterday because it was too big for their condo association and proceeded to adopt a 5 week old lab mix right after turning in their family pet of 2 years.
 I talked to this couple. I told them what they were doing was unfair.
 "A pet is for life, no one can 'make you' get rid of your dog. You always have a choice... to move... to be homeless for a while if necessary. The fact you're adopting another puppy, that will grow, the same day you turn in your own dog is very worrisome and is not o.k.," I said.
They stared at me, went to the front and proceeded to adopt the 5 week old puppy. Why should I feel sorry for their adult bulldog dumped at the shelter. They certainly weren't shedding tears over him.
I spoke with my neighbors this morning on the walk with my dogs.
 "I saw your puppies at the shelter where I work. That really should have been your absolute last option. The pups could easily get sick in the shelter and be put to sleep. Are you going to get the mother dog spayed now so she doesn't have more puppies you're unable to care for?"
They also stared at me and said, "Um I don't know, maybe."
These are a couple of examples of situations I deal with daily.
Does it take a toll?
Of course.
What do I do about it?
I'm figuring that out.
I know how to be centered, enlightened, content, peaceful, happy. I've achieved it time and time again but it takes work. I have my moments of sheer enlightenment, they typically come through meditation, reading the works of enlightened authors, prayer, being still.
A few days ago I said to my boyfriend, "I live on a spiritual plane now. None of this here matters. It's the spiritual, energetic field that matters. I am aligned with that." And I meant it. I looked and felt better.
I suppose I should write only when I'm in that state and all my blogs will be positive, profound, enlightening. But, that's not how life is lived for most of us. It's a series of ups and downs, sadness and joy, confusion and confidence. We experience periods of knowing, connection, insight just as we experience periods of fear, disconnect and depression. My goal is to learn to live in a peaceful, mostly happy state most of the time. We are here to learn.
As Deepak says (not verbatim), "If we were all already enlightened we wouldn't be here."
Related Affirmation:

I feel God/Universal Light and Energy. There is a limitless source of divine intelligence and love surrounding me at all times, waiting for me to tap into it. It's there for all of us. This powerful energy and force is infinite, eternal therefore there's no need to be stingy with it... everyone can tap it, drink from this fountain of eternal knowledge. It lives in me and you. I now allow divine light and intelligence to work with and through me. Love radiates from me. I only see the good in life and have loving thoughts and words to share.

Psalm 46: Be still, and know that I am God.